I have a Booths card- bow before me peasants. Oh.

I’ve just paid £2.20 for a hot chocolate, a cup of premium tea and a glass of wine in an artisan cafe in Garstang. This is it, the pinnacle of my life, there is no going back now. I have jumped the shark of my life.


Booths  ( or Boobs as my three year old keeps ‘hilariously’ calling it loudly in front of teenage boys) makes Waitrose seem a bit on the slummy side. In fact, I heard once on Radio Four on one of those mid- afternoon programmes that nobody actually listens to unless they’ve got crippling Norovirus, a hangover, bad reception or are retired that Booths is actually posher because they stock more types of expensive caviar than Waitrose.  This has become one of my ‘Actually I’ll think you find..’ quotes about the North  I repeat like a pub bore every time  I go down South.

Being the owner of a black embossed Booths card (free when you enter your email address into the website form) makes me feel a bit special. I hold it out casually with a smile, a triumphant smile like somehow I have made it into that special club. That special club where you have to write your email address into an online form.

It is quite sad my life has become to this really. BUT ACTUALLY NO!  Because with the Booths card comes free hot drinks-even hot chocolate. Yes, even hot chocolate.  EVEN FUCKING HOT CHOCOLATE! It’s the beverage equivalent of climbing Mount Everest but without the death and stuff.


So the hot beverages are free so I can absolutely justify a small bottle of wine for two pounds whilst I sit in laminated splendour, the queen of my brightly yet attractively lit domain.

Until the random envy and spite directed at the other plebs with their free hot beverages.

I go downstairs and pretend to think about purchasing luxury pickles. That’ll learn em. I accidentally purchase a luxury pickle.
I think I understand how marketing works.



5 Responses to “I have a Booths card- bow before me peasants. Oh.”

  • looby Says:

    How does it work? Did you just have to pay for the wine?

    I really like Booths, and they’re the only supermarket really to be interested in local food. Unfortunately they follow every other supermarket in only selecting the hardest, most tasteless fruit and veg that they can possibly source. Booths for dry goods, cheese, the breakfasts in the cafe, but the Warehouse for fruit and veg.

  • narf77 Says:

    Glad to see you got suckered in…schadenfreude rising …

  • cyberfairy Says:

    Yes, just had to pay for the wine-many people were just get the free teas and coffees but I had to go one better.
    Where is the Warehouse looby? I like that Booths often have more unusual veg items- for example different types of mushrooms than the generic closed cup ones and often their veg is cheaper than a ‘normal’ supermarket. Caulies were 50p for weeks because seasonal etc. Been reading a book about local varieties of delicious veg and fruit which have vanished because not shiny/long lasting enough and it’s an utter crime. Whole orchards grubbed up :-( I am a firm believer in Booths at Reduced O’ Clock. :-) It makes me faint at random prices of dry sundries like cat food but I pick between the shops and the cheese selection is fab.
    NARF! I hold my hand up guiltily!

  • looby Says:

    The Warehouse — you might know it by the name Single Step. All their veg is organic and none of it is air-freighted. And it’s quite reasonably priced as they’re a workers’ co-operative. Give it a whirl. Top end of Penny St almost opposite printing.com.

  • cyberfairy Says:

    Ah Single Step! Know it very well- in it frequently- forcing metal scoops out of a small child’s hand as he screams and suddenly NEEEDS dried apricots. Often to be found upstairs in the Whale Tail upstairs as well staring grimly at the bugger who is hoarding ALL the newspapers.

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