Unicycle Emptiness

We are here again at the Wray scarecrow festival and I am sensing anger from deep within this picture postcard village. The theme is all things royal, it being the time of the royal wedding but we are in a recession and even though the average house price in Wray must be quarter of a million, people are resentful.

And taking it out in scarecrow form.

This scarecrow looks at Kate Middleton in a purely financial way stating that ‘she must be worth a pretty penny’, like some drooling Victorian pimp. I suspect Kate would be more annoyed about her lumpy legs.

I am proud to be English when I see the amount of ingenious ways in which the recession was able to be snuck in to a scarecrow festival about the royals. With a staggering and slightly scary attention to detail there is a Whitehall sign on this wall and a sign that says ‘Latest De-Fence Cuts’. And there is cutting! Well, technically sawing but let’s not pick holes in this ingenious display of scarecrows, punning, anger, politics and the military.

This won first prize it appears and I can see why. It is simplicity and cynicism at it’s best. Does Ian Hislop live in Wray?

Again this is wry Wray humour at its best. It must be scary deciding to do a topical scarecrow as when do you leave it until to be the most topical? Do some good citizens of Wray stay up all night on News 24 with a sack of straw and a feeling of impending terror in case nothing scandalous happens that night?

Elton John (the queen!) and his child, the first five-month year old to be immortalised in scarecrow form.

A simply wonderful scarecrow corgi.

I find it so impressive that someone had a three-piece bathroom suite to spare to utilise but am concerned it is a better bathroom suite than the one in my house.

I like King Edward’s potatoey yet provocative pose.

Now this was brilliant in its blood splattered depiction of the royals being not in charity shop wedding dresses but royals about to face hideous deaths.

The guillotine looked like it actually worked and a slightly concerning amount of work had been put into it and it was entitled ‘Come the Wray-volution’. And there was a head in a bucket on the other side! The effect was somewhat spoiled by being outside a house so grand that commoner Kate would shirk at entering (especially if she saw the guillotine)

This one is about life on ‘the breadline’ and features people so poor (including a feckless young one with a baby) that they have had to cancel their Sky subscription! Imagine that!

Another award winning one, very cyberpunk in style but was something about living life in a shoestring.

Best use of a village light I have ever seen. Note the tiny plane and Barbie and KING Kong! Get it?

Probably my favourite as such an underrated royal. It is King Ethelred the Unready and he is unready as he has not brushed his teeth etc (there is even fake toothpaste squirting out of the tube) he has not shaved and there is an awesome note from the Vikings! From someone who knows how to use their fonts to awesome effect.

I never thought the queen could possibly look more malevolent (and I once saw a photo of her beating a pheasant to death with a stick) until now.

Pleasingly, another royal execution with a pop up snake in a basket to surprise young children who were only expecting a boring old severed head.

The same house that featured members of the A Team last year have cleverly used them again with ‘crowcuts’ which is clever in so many ways I cannot even begin to begin.

Click the Queen of Hearts for more pics from this years festival…

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